


I Can Feel You

by kylorensith



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, Jedi Ben Solo, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Young Ben Solo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-12 23:13:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7127249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylorensith/pseuds/kylorensith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Solo grew up with (Y/N), it didn't take long for everyone to realize the two had a force-bond, and a very strong one at that. As they grew older, and got closer they became more than friends, only strengthening their bond. On Jakku a Kyuzo has told the Resistance that he has valuable information on the First Order that could help them get the upper hand. Leia sends (Y/N), as she is the only available member who can communicate with the Kyuzos. Ben feels that something is off with (Y/N)'s mission, but she has no choice in the matter, she has to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to wait until I was finished each part, but I thought it might be best if I could get feedback. Hope you enjoy!

“You have to be polite (Y/N), do you understand?” Your mother asks you for the thousandth time since you’d left Coruscant. “I have to be polite.” You repeat and nod while smiling up at her. “Good girl, there is going to be a lot of people, okay? Mommy and Daddy need to talk to someone very important, okay? So you’re going to go with a Jedi master.” Your eyes nearly popped out of your head. Ever since you were a child, you’d been admiring the Jedi, and what they can do. “His name is Master Luke, okay? He is going to bring you with him to train with one of his Padawans, so you have to be good, and listen to Master Luke, do what he says.” You nodded your head frantically, growing more excited with every passing second, your parents had always said you’re force sensitive, but you had only been able to move something small once or twice in your life.

About an hour after your mother told you about staying with the Jedi master, your parents landed the ship on a planet that you didn’t even know existed before now. You had been learning about all the systems, and what planets are within the systems since you were young, yet you knew nothing of this place. You mother held your hand, and walked off of the ship. You began looking around, looking at all the nature, trees and grass were uncommon things on Coruscant.“Ah! Master Luke, good to see you again!” Your mother let go of your hand, and hugged a tall man who was wearing Jedi robes. You smiled up at him, hoping that you’d get to talk to the Jedi master too. 

He looked down at you, immediately sensing something about you, though he couldn’t quite figure out what it was. “So you’re (Y/N), huh?” He knelt down to your level, with a kind smile. You nod nervously, unsure of what to say to someone so powerful “It’s nice to meet you.” He holds his hand out to you for you to shake, you oblige and place your small hand in his. “Nice to meet you too Master Luke.” He looks you over for a second before standing up to talk with your mother again. “I do have to go help Ben train, he’s been getting overwhelmed, and needs help focusing. But I’ll make sure she is taken care of, I promise.” Your mother thanks him, and give him one last hug. She kneels down, giving you a tight hug, looking at you sternly “Be good for Master Luke, and don’t get in the way of Ben’s training, alright?” You nod once, and hug her back. You had no idea who Ben was, but you could tell by the way your mother spoke of him he was important, you were just as excited either way to see him training. 

Master Luke held your hand, and began leading you to where he trains Ben. While walking there Master Luke told you that Ben was his nephew, and Padawan. “He’s two years older than you, you’re seven, right?” He glances down at you, waiting for an answer “Yup!” You happily cheered, growing more eager to meet Ben. “You don’t have to be too far away from Ben and I, alright? We’re going to be in a big room, so just don’t go too far from us, deal?” You not frantically, hoping you’re getting closer to where Ben was “Okay, good.” He looked back up, and pointed to an opening to a large stone room. “That’s Ben.” He pointed to a boy standing on the other side of the room, with is back to you. You felt a burst of what you thought to be happiness as soon as Ben turned to face you both. “Ben, come over here please.” Master Luke let go of your hand, and waved Ben closer to the two of you. Ben didn’t look at Master Luke as he walked over, his eyes were locked on you. Luke observed silently, realizing that there was a force bond between the two of you, it was evident the second you walked into the room. Even more clear when Ben didn’t greet Master Luke, but smiled at you “Hi, I’m Ben!” 

Your smile was now covering your face. “Hi Ben, I’m (Y/N).” He did seem to be a bit older than you, mostly in his height, but you were instantly comfortable, no matter how little you really knew of him. “Ben, this is (Y/N), she is (M/N), and (F/N)’s daughter.” Luke motioned between you two, still observing the interaction. Ben looked up to Master Luke and shook his head, as if to clear his mind. “Master Luke.” Ben bowed his head as a sign of respect to his master. “Ben.” Luke bowed his head, and put his hand on Ben’s shoulder “Have you been working on your focus?” Ben nodded his head, but not in a very confident way. You felt bad, you could tell he was nervous of letting down his master, but there was nothing you could do to change that. 

“Don’t get discouraged Ben, I know you have it in you. You just need to practice more, maybe having someone besides me in here with you could help you with that.” Master Luke didn’t look at you, but Ben turned his head in your direction and gave you a soft smile. 

“Alright, (Y/N) you can sit there if you’d like,” Master Luke pointed to a nearby wall a few feet from where they were standing. “and you can watch Ben practice.” You thanked him, and moved to where he had pointed sitting down watching him and Ben take a few steps further away from you. 

Ben explained quickly to Master Luke that he couldn’t keep his focus on one thing long enough to actually manipulate it, and still have an idea of his surroundings. Master Luke hadn’t spoken loud enough for you to hear anything. Once he had pointed to some large rocks in the corner, Ben walked closer to them and stared at them. You watched the rock intently, holding your breath in fear that you would break Ben’s concentration. The rock began shifting slightly closer to Ben, amazement ran through you and you stood from your spot to watch closer. 

You had sat, unknowingly, for two hours watching Ben practice in complete admiration. Ben had noticed a few times how you watched him in complete happiness at what he was doing, and couldn’t help but feel accomplished, proud even for making you happy. Master Luke was observing not only Ben’s training, but how you two silently interacted. He could sense how strong your force bond would become in only a matter of time. He was instantly regretting bringing you with him as he realized you have the potential to be more of a distraction than another set of eyes on Ben. 

As soon as Master Luke said that Ben could be done for the day, Ben ran to leave, stopping when he passed you. You were still looking at him with proud eyes, and that only made Ben feel better about how the day had gone. His gaze turned to Master Luke “Master Luke, her parents are talking with my mother, right?” Master Luke looked from Ben to you wearily “They are.” He stated simply, knowing what Ben was about to ask.

“I could show her the way to my house?” Luke laughed to himself and nodded, “That would be appreciated, thank you Ben.” As much as Luke wanted to keep you from Ben, it would only make matters worse, now that the two of you had met, there was no chance of it ending well if he did. 

You thanked Master Luke for letting you stay and watch, and took the few steps between yourself and Ben. “Thank you, Ben.” You smile gratefully at him and begin walking with him, doing your best to keep up with his pace. Ben slowed down, realizing you weren’t able to take as large steps as him “Where are you from?” Ben asked, hoping to hear you talk more, your voice had fascinated him, it was soft and sweet, and filled with joy.

“I’m from Coruscant, it’s so different from here.” You laugh, looking around at your surroundings. “I was there once, it was really different.” He agrees after a second of thinking about the few days he was there. “It’s so pretty here.” You smile, looking at him, then around at all the nature you’d never seen in person before. He continued to admire you while you looked around and points to a house at the end of the dirt street you’re on “That’s where we’re going, I live there.” You followed his finger and looked to the large house. “You live there?” You asked in disbelief, you’d never been inside an actual house before. You grew up living in a large apartment, there weren’t many houses on Coruscant. 

He laughed and nodded his head “Yeah, with my mother and father.” Your mouth had fallen open by that point “Is it big inside too?” You look up at him excitedly, wanting to see the inside of his house. “Bigger than some other homes here, yes.” He didn’t look as happy with that fact, but he did put on an almost convincing smile. “Why don’t you like that?” You question, watching him closely, you could tell he was unhappy about something. “It’s too big for three people, it gets boring.” Ben knew it was more lonely than boring, but he didn’t want to get into his fear of being alone. 

He opened the door to the house, and let you enter first. You could still tell there was something else about the house he didn’t like, but before you could ask him more about it a woman walked around the corner. “Ben! How was training? Did Master Luke help you?” She had overlooked you for a moment, but then her eyes fell on you. You gave her a shy smile, and found yourself getting closer to Ben. Her expression changed to the same one Master Luke had given you when he first spoke to you. “You-” She looked back to Ben “You brought (Y/N)? Thank you Ben!” Her tone had changed from confusion to a much more confident one.

Ben nodded, and looked at you for a moment. You were still close to his side, looking at his mother. “That’s my mom.” Ben smiles reassuringly, nodding in his mother’s direction. You were more comfortable with being in front of her, but you were still at Ben’s side. “Nice to meet you (Y/N), I’m Leia, Ben’s mom.” Her kind smile put you at ease. “Hi Leia, nice to meet you too.” You smiled sweetly at her. 

Her gaze kept moving between you and Ben, causing Ben to grow anxious. He didn’t like being watched like that, it made him feel like he’d done something. “Why are you looking at me like that?” He glared at his mother, wanting to run away. “Nothing, you two just- Nevermind love, why don’t you show (Y/N) the stars?” She suggested, taking a step back, still watching you. You began getting nervous, unsure of what he could be looking at for so long. “Stop doing that.” Ben groaned, taking one step and looking at you to follow. 

His mother didn’t say another word as the two of you walked away and to his bedroom. “Did I do something wrong?” You ask Ben once you’d gotten to his room, and he closed the door. He looked at you sadly, realizing you’d gotten nervous at her behaviour too. “No, she’s just, like that sometimes. I don’t understand it either.” He shook his head, still feeling his anxiety run through him. You nodded and smiled simply, content knowing you hadn’t done anything wrong.

“We don’t have to look at the stars if you don’t want to.” He trailed off, watching you look around his room with envy. “I do.” You said quickly, looking to him “I love the stars!” You gushed happily. A bright smile came across his face, “I do too.” He grabbed his holo pad, and turned on his map of the stars before shutting off the lights so you could see better. You both sat on the floor and pointed to various stars, talking about what you’d been told about each one. 

About an hour later, you were both laying on his floor still looking at the stars, and talking about experiences you’d had on the planets that reside around the stars. You were about to ask him questions about the next planet, when there was a knock at the door. You both looked to the door, as it opened seconds later without Ben answering. Master Luke, Ben’s mother, and your parents walked in with someone else you didn’t know. All you could think of was how similar him and Ben looked, maybe that’s his dad? You wondered to yourself, looking at the man curiously. Ben turned and looked at you “He is.” You looked at him more confused than you’d ever been in your life. You didn’t think you had wondered out loud. All of the adults walked further in the room, Ben’s parents sat on his bed while your parents and Master Luke stood beside them. None of them said anything for a long period of time, causing both you and Ben to worry if you’d done something to upset someone. “What did I do?” Ben asks defensively, looking away from his parents and to you, he didn’t feel as nervous looking at you, so he did his best to look at you. 

“You didn’t do anything, love.” His mother assured him “Why did you say ‘he is’ Ben?” Master Luke spoke up, earning everyone’s attention, including yours. Master Luke looked at you curiously, almost like you knew something he didn’t, then back to Ben. Ben didn’t know what to say, as soon as he had said the words, he realized that you hadn’t actually said anything, but he could swear to himself that you had wondered about his father. “I- I’m not sure, I thought she was wondering who dad was?” He asked more than stated, looking between you and his father. All the adults share a nervous glance “(Y/N), do you know who Ben’s dad is?” Your father speaks up, watching you intently. You shrugged slightly, and pointed to who you had wandered to be Ben’s dad.

“Did you know that before Ben said anything?” His mother questioned, taking your attention from your father. You were starting to grow anxious that you had done something wrong, especially with the way Master Luke was looking at you incredulously. Ben narrowed his eyes looking at you, then to Master Luke, noticing that he was looking at you differently than the other adults. You had seen Ben look between you and his uncle, but you were too focused on his mother’s question. “I don’t think so.” You decided to stop looking back to Master Luke, as he was making your fears grow greater and greater. 

“Were you wondering if he was Ben’s dad?” Master Luke asks, forcing you to give him your attention again. “I don’t know.” You whispered, your eyes growing blurry as tears clouded your vision. You didn’t want to lie, but with everyone focusing on you, you couldn’t remember what they wanted to know. “Stop it.” Ben demand, looking at Master Luke angrily, not liking the way he is causing you to get upset. “Stop what?” Master Luke asked calmly, knowing that Ben was growing more defensive of you every second the two of you were questioned. “Making her sad! Stop it!” Ben’s glare grew angrier as Master Luke continued to look at you, and you kept trying to hold back tears. “I think Ben’s right!” Ben’s mother jumped up, standing in front of Master Luke, and giving you a sweet, apologetic smile. “Sorry for all the questions guys, we were just curious of something.” Ben, who could still see his uncle, continued to glare at him for making you cry.

The adults started to leave, and Ben moved closer to you, rubbing his hand up and down your back reassuringly “Are you okay?” For reasons unknown to him, he was starting to grow teary eyed as well “I’m sorry.” He whispered, still watching you protectively, wanting to make you happy again. You just nodded, and continued to think about what you could have done wrong, with thinking about Ben’s dad. “They were being weird, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise.” He half smiled.

“Oh thank gods your here.” Ben groaned, walking across the room and falling onto the couch next to you. “Of course I am, I knew you’d be home early tonight.” You move to straddle his lap, and kiss him softly. “Rough day?” You ask sadly, knowing Luke had been pushing Ben harder than ever before lately. For Ben’s benefit sure, but it didn’t make the strain on his mind and body any less painful. He grunts in response, shifting in his seat so he can wrap his arms around you. “He refused to actually train for the first half of the day, he was insistent that we go over the Jedi code the one that I’ve known since I was four.” Your chest felt tight, and you knew it was his pain that you just felt through the bond. 

You kissed his face all over, and press your forehead to his. “Don’t stress Ben, it’s not good for you.” You lift your head and look him in the eyes, then kiss his nose once. “I’m sorry, he’s just getting to me, I’m sorry.” You shook your head at his apology, “Don’t apologize Ben, please.” He searched your eyes to make sure you weren’t angry at him for stressing, something you hated that he felt the need to do. He knew that you would never be mad at him for something so trivial, but he couldn’t help but fear the worst. “Alright, I won’t. I’m sorry-“ He stopped and sighed, realizing he was apologizing again. “You’re too sweet for your own good Ben.” You moved off his lap, and grab the holo pad you’d been given by Leia earlier in the day. “I have a new assignment.” You raised your eyebrows excitedly, feeling proud that you’d been asked to do such an important task.

“What is it?” He smiles watching your excited face. “Here.” You hand him the holo pad, and pull up the task. He stayed silent as he read it, but you saw his face drop not long after he started reading, and you worried if something was wrong but you waited until he looked at you when he was done reading. “Is someth-“ You started but he cut you off “You can’t do this (Y/N).” You watched as his face went through several different emotions, landing on frustration. Not at you, but his mother for assigning such a thing to you

“Why?” You knew he wasn’t doubting your skills, he was simply worried about something happening to you You could hear his nervous thoughts running through his head “You can’t. Something could happen, it’s The First Order (Y/N).” As he emphasizes ‘The First Order’ making you realize what his fear is. “Ben, he doesn’t work for The First Order, he simply has information about them that could help us.” 

He didn’t say anything, he only looked at you like you were on your deathbed. Snoke, he’s going to try to hurt her. You heard him thinking about The First Orders leader, Snoke who had taken quite an interest in Ben years ago. Ben had made it clear he wants nothing to do with The First Order, but that doesn’t stop someone like Snoke from relentlessly trying to get inside Ben’s head and convince him. “Ben.” You whisper, taking the holo pad from him and tossing it to the side so you could straddle his lap again. “Snoke has nothing to do with this, okay? The creature I’m meeting just wants money for what he knows. Snoke won’t be anywhere near me, besides what would he want from me?” You almost laugh, but you know Snoke would stop at nothing to get Ben to be his apprentice, even if that meant using you as bait to lure him in.

“You don’t know that!” He snapped, making you sigh sadly “Ben, you’d be the first to know if something went wrong. You would know.” The force bond was something Ben was quite fond of, especially when you went off the base. He could still feel your emotions, and at times depending on how intense they were, your thoughts. He wrapped his arms around your waist, and pulled you as close to him as he could “Please don’t do this, she can find someone else to do it.” This wasn’t the first time Ben had been upset with his mother’s choice of task for you, and it certainly won’t be the last.

You run your fingers through his hair, and sigh “I’m sorry Ben, I have to. Erik is helping your father right now, and I’m the only one left who can speak Kyuzo. She can’t send anyone else.” You could feel panic the more you spoke. His grip tightened on you again “Then I’ll go, I can speak Kyuzo too, I’ll go.” You laugh, and look at him with an amused look “Ben, if you honestly believe The First Order is up to something, do you really think anyone will let you, of all people go?” He knows you have a point, but that doesn’t mean he had to like it. “Well then you’re staying with me tonight, you can’t go home, you’re staying here.” He sighed in defeat, but you could still feel panic running through him.

You lean down and kiss him while holding his face “I planned on it anyway, so I guess I can live with that.” He stood up, placing his arms under your thighs to hold you up, and walked to the bed. He dropped you onto the bed, and hovers above you. “Good.” He kissed your lips, and then down your jaw to your neck. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and used one hand to play with his hair. You sighed happily, pulling his attention back to your lips and kissing him passionately. It didn’t last though, once you hear the door slide open and closed a second later. You both groaned, and he got off you, and looked to see his parents just standing there looking in your direction.

“If you’re busy, we can come back?” Han smirked at Ben, who closed his eyes in annoyance. “What do you need?” He would only look at his father. You stand up and give a soft smile to his mother. “Actually I needed to talk to you, Ben.” Leia chimes in, trying to get Ben’s attention, you felt Ben’s mood change in an instant as she spoke. He was clearly still annoyed with his mother that you were chosen to go retrieve the information. “What?” His bad mood evident in his tone. You elbow him lightly hoping he won’t be too rude to his mother.

“Ben I’m sorry (Y/N) is going, but can you at least pretend that you don’t want to yell at me so we can talk?” Leia was used to Ben getting angry with your tasks, but it didn’t make it any easier when she tried to speak to Ben and he was distant. “Sure. What?” His tone hadn’t changed in the slightest, so you give Leia an apologetic look. “It’s about you two.” She waves a hand between you and Ben, her expression changing to one of worry. “I know you have the force bond, but I need you to not use it to keep track of (Y/N), Ben. It’s not healthy for you, an-“

“That’s not going to happen.” Ben cut her off suddenly, more angry than before. “It’s bad enough you’re sending her to some shady Kyuzo to get information about The First Order, when they are most likely trying something. But I will not try to keep my focus off her.” You started to feel bad for being the reason he was getting so worked up, so the only thing you could do now was keep him grounded– as much as you could anyway. You placed your hand on his back, and rubbed your thumb back and forth reassuring him that everything will be okay. “I won’t.” He said again, watching his mother carefully. He had leaned into your hand slightly, but you knew he was still furious. “Ben, Master Luke say-“

“Master Luke, who has never like our force bond said what?” He spat. Luke hadn’t been very fond of you at first, he hid it well at least from a child’s view he did. But as you got older you realized his dislike of your bond was why he’d never let you near Ben while training, and why Ben couldn’t see you before training as well. He saw you as a distraction, an inconvenience to Ben’s training. Once you and Ben began dating, he came to terms with it, as much as he could anyway. He still doesn’t let you anywhere near Ben while he training, but he doesn’t look at you as he used to. “He said that when (Y/N) goes away, to do her job,” Leia pauses and looks at Ben putting emphasis on job, Ben didn’t like to admit that it was part of your job to leave at times, he never liked admitting that “you can be more unfocused than the younglings.”

Ben laughed sarcastically “Yeah, and on none of those trips did she have to be anywhere near The First Order, or anything to do with them. So good luck with this plan.” You had known Ben was unfocused when you went away, Master Luke had made a point to tell you in hopes that you would stay and not let Ben get unfocused again. “General, is there anyway Erik could go? I could go with Han and help. Then Ben wouldn’t feel like this.” This was the first time you’d ever suggested such a thing, and so directly too, you didn’t expect good results, but Ben’s anxiety was out of control, and you wanted to change that if at all possible.

“I don’t see why n-“ Han began, but stopped when Leia looked at him “The Kyuzo has requested you, he’s dealt with you before and he wasn’t fond of Erik.” Anger almost exploded from Ben, and he stepped away from your touch and closer to his mother “What is wrong with you?! She was requested by a creature she’s met what? Once? On a trip to get information about The First Order. That doesn’t seem at all crazy to you, mother?” You stepped closer to Ben and pulled him back a few steps.

You could tell by the way Leia was looking at Ben that she did feel bad, and she did notice that it was a bit suspicious. But you didn’t want to think about that, so you stayed focused on running your hand up and down Ben’s back doing your best to keep him calm. “I’m sorry, Ben. We need this information. I told Luke I would try to talk to you, and I have. I am sorry.” Leia sighs. Ben scoffed at his mother’s words, and watched angrily as her and Han left Ben’s apartment.

“Ben.” You whisper, turning him to look at you. His eyes were bloodshot, you hadn’t even realized he was crying. “Oh Ben.” You pull him to a hug, and rest your head on his shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.” His arms slowly wrap around your waist, as he kissed the top of your head “Can you promise that?” You couldn’t promise that, as soon as Leia had said you were requested your stomach had dropped, something is off, but if you admit that to Ben, he would keep you with him no matter what. You stayed silent, and blinked at the few tears that were pooling at the bottom of your eyes. He sighed, and tightened his grip on you. “You’re still going, aren’t you?”

You nodded, not having the courage actually speak.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and (Y/N) attempt to prepare themselves for what could happen while (Y/N) is on Jakku.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter I've ever written, ever. It took me forever to write and update so if you see any errors please point them out. Enjoy!

You and Ben had moved back to his bed after a few minutes of him holding you close to him. You sat, propped up against the headboard, and let him wrap his arms around your waist as he laid at your side. He didn’t say anything for a while, he was only lying there taking in the feeling of your fingers in his hair, and the sound of you breathing quietly. You both could sense how the other was feeling, each of you were nervous beyond belief, but you tried your best to hide it from Ben. 

“You know I can tell when you’re doing that.” He mumbled after several minutes of silence. You didn’t have to ask, you knew what he was talking about. “I do, but I can’t help it.” You admit quietly, attempting to keep yourself occupied with his soft hair between your fingers. He laughed lightly, tickling your side in the process “You can help it. Just just are trying to put me at ease.” You roll your eyes and look down at him. He knows you just about as well as you know yourself, it really is hard to mask your feelings from him.

“And that’s exactly why I’m going to continue this way. I’d like to keep your mind at peace.” You finally look down to meet his gaze and blush that you’d been caught -yet again- hiding your feelings from him. It was never something he took lightly. “I wish you wouldn’t do that, (Y/N).” You frowned, not liking the idea of letting him feel how nervous you are. That would only make him feel more on edge about you leaving in the morning. “I’m sorry. I just- you already have a lot to deal with. You don’t need to focus on this trip more than you’re already going to.” He sat up and turned to look at you. “(Y/N). My mother has already made it pretty clear there is no chance of me convincing her to not send you. Don’t worry about me. I’m just thinking about the fact that you, the woman I love more than anything, is hiding how she is really feeling from me. And about something so big.” You had to look away as he spoke, because the only thing running through your mind while he spoke was: You cannot tell him, it will only make things harder in the morning. 

“I have to go Ben.” You looked at him from the corner of your eye, and see him hang his head. “I know, that has been made very clear. I don’t like it, at all, but that’s not what I was saying. If you don’t want me to know how you feel through the bond, then at least tell me. Please.” You looked him over for a second. He didn’t seem to be angry you weren’t telling him, and he didn’t seem like he was on the verge of going to his mothers house and forcing her to let you stay. 

“I don’t know what to say Ben.” You huff. “Do you want me to tell you that I’m scared out of my mind? Not that The First Order will be there, but that you will come looking for me if they are. I know you Ben, and I know you’d leave without a second thought of anything here.” You paused for a minute, taking a deep breath in the hopes that it might stop the tears that are already falling down your cheeks. “If they want me, it is only because of our bond. They’re not stupid, I’m sure they know and would use that to lure you to them.” He stared at you sadly, though you could only feel his urge to stop you from crying.

“I”m sorry, I wish- well no, I don’t wish. But if I told you I wouldn’t go find you, then I’d be lying to you. I’m not going to do that either.” He starst watching you nervously, like you were going to get angry with him if he did anything. “I know Ben. And I’m so grateful that you don’t lie to me. But I just wish I wasn’t your weakness.” You pretended to be neutral about what you’d just said, but it honestly killed you that you were what could make Ben even think of going to their base.

He shook his head quickly, like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He pulled you between his legs, and looked you right in the eyes. “You are not my weakness (Y/N), I know you’re thinking of what Master Luke said years ago. But you are so far from a weakness to me, you’re the reason I’m sane, the reason I haven’t given up on my training. And you know better than anyone that you’re the reason I haven’t let myself be seduced by the him. You are that reason. That doesn’t make you a weakness (Y/N), please know that.” His voice was so calm, and soothing you couldn’t help but calm down slightly. You were still overwhelmed with what you’d just admitted Ben for the first time. You just wanted to be close to him, and have him hold you. As if on cue, he moved to the headboard, and offered for you to rest your head on his chest. You smile gratefully at him and lay your head on him “I love you Ben.” You finally speak once you knew your voice wouldn’t crack. “I love you so much.” You moved your arms around so you were clung to his side. 

“I love you too (Y/N).” He kissed the top of you head, and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. It wasn’t very often Ben and you got time to be alone, and relax together, but when you did you were both content to just enjoy being with the other. 

All throughout the night you kept having the same dream over and over again. They were of you being grabbed by a tall ginger man, he was rough and didn’t mind shutting you up anyway possible. You might have thought they were your own dreams, but you could tell by how you were seeing yourself it was from Ben’s point of view. Every time you woke up, you looked to Ben to make sure he was still asleep, he quite frequently has nightmares, especially since Snoke first started pursuing him. 

Once you woke up for the fourth time that night, you decided to get water and then maybe go back to bed. You carefully slid out of Ben’s arms, and looked at him for a moment to make sure that he stays asleep. Once you were confident he wouldn’t wake up, you walked to his kitchenette to get some water and possibly go to look over the mission on the holo pad again. 

Once you had your water, you turned around and screamed, dropping your glass on the floor. You saw Ben standing in the doorway watching you while his eyes went wide at your reaction, he took a step forward to comfort you. “(Y/N) I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” You stood frozen in your spot, and let out a sigh of relief once you realized it really was only Ben. “Come here.” He looked down at the broken glass and water on the floor, offering you his hand so you could step over it. You took ahold of his hand, taking a large step over the broken shards. He pulled you into a tight embrace, and kissed the top of your head “You scared the shit out of me Ben. I thought that you were-“ You stopped yourself quickly, realizing you’d almost told Ben you thought he was a member of the First Order. 

“You thought I was who?” He pulled his head away to look down at you. You internally scolded yourself for even beginning that sentence “I don’t know. There was a man in your dreams.” You didn’t know anything about him, not his name, rank or anything. All you knew was there was something about him that made Ben fear he would be able to take you from him. Was he Snoke? I thought Snoke was much bigger? Your mind suddenly got flooded with questions about the First Order, that you would never ask. 

He laughed humorlessly, and shook his head. “General Hux.” His hostile tone made it clear—more than before that he doesn't like General Hux. “No, he isn’t Snoke. Snoke from what I could see when I was there, was a hologram, he wasn’t physically in the room I was.” You looked up at Ben in amazment, he’d never spoken much about Snoke, or the man from his dream. You did know more about his temptations than anyone else, but that didn’t mean you knew every bit of it. 

He pulled away, grabbing your hand at the same time to pull you back to the bed with him “I need to clean up the-“ You began but you were cut off by him shushing you “I’ll get it in the morning.” He said in a hushed tone, throwing himself on his bed, pulling you along with him. “You’re not going back to sleep, are you?” He asked, already knowing your answer. “No, your dream was too much.” It wasn’t often you and Ben saw each others dreams, but when you did you always woke up mentally drained. It was like he was using the Force to make you see his dreams, and in a way he was. His more intense dreams would get projected, and through the force bond, you were the one to see them. Even when you weren’t together. “I’m sorry.” He whispers.

You shake your head at him sadly “You don’t mean to do it Ben, stop being so sorry.” You wanted to joke with him, but suddenly all you could think of was the pure disgust that was on General Hux’s face as he dragged you away from Ben. Like you were the filthiest thing he’d ever seen, and was being forced to handle. 

“You don’t have to worry about him too much (Y/N)..” He trailed off, most likely thinking of every scenario in which you and Hux would be put in the same room. Or what General Hux could or would do to you. You thought for a moment, and it began to finally hit you that there is almost a one hundred precent chance that you’ll be taken to the First Order, and you wouldn’t be able to stop Ben from going after you. “What would they do to me? Would I be able to handle them myself?” You had one last glimpse of hope at convincing him to stay, but you weren’t so lucky. 

His head snapped down to look at you, like you’d just asked him to murder you. “Just tell me, please.” You quietly beg, placing your hand on his chest and drawing patters over and over again. He laughed bitterly, while his fists clenched at the thought of what they might do to you. “I don’t know a great deal of what they do, but I do know you wouldn’t be able to handle it yourself.” He looked down at you, and frowned wishing he could have convinced you to train when you were younger, it would have helped you.

“I know they have interrogation rooms. That it’s almost impossible to move while in them.” With every word he spoke his body got more tense “I know General Hux isn’t able to use the Force, but I’m sure he has his own ways of making people tell him what he wants to know.” For a brief second you got an image in your head of a large piece of metal, it had locks where arms and ankles would go. “Was that an interrogation room?” You ask nervously, stoping your fingers from moving around. “Yes.” His voice was so quiet you weren’t even sure that he had actually said anything.

“And there is no way for me to get out on my own?” You already knew the answer, but you wanted so bad to find a solution that didn’t require Ben to go after you. It’s the First Order, how would I get out on my own? You mentally scold yourself. Turning your attention back to Ben, who might somehow know a way for you to escape. “It’s very doubtful.” His tone was empty, like the thought alone of attempting to escape on your own was impossible. Maybe it is. “I will find you if anything happens (Y/N).” 

 

You lifted your head from his chest and rolled to your side so you could actually look at him, even with the darkness of the room. “I know.” Saving you, no matter the circumstance, was something Ben never budged on. Anything from another kid being mean to you, to actually saving your life if something went wrong on a mission. Ben would always save you, and thats the reason you’re nervous.

A few hours later you woke up with your head on his chest. You looked around, not realizing you’d fallen back asleep. You were grateful that Ben’s nightmares had stopped, that way you both got some sleep. “Good morning.” You rolled over, and see up his exhausted face smiling weakly at you. You groaned, piecing together that he hadn’t gone back to sleep, he stayed awake and that’s why you didn’t see his nightmare “You didn’t go back to sleep, did you?” He shook his head, and placed his hand on the back of your head so he could run his fingers through your hair. 

“You needed to sleep.” He was barely holding his eyes open, but he still gave you a sweet, Ben like smile. “So did you. You have training with Luke in-“ You looked over to the clock beside him “An hour!” You sit up, and look at him sadly. “You have an even longer day today Ben, you should have slept!” He gave you an amused smile, like he was in on some big joke you didn’t know about “You leave in two hours, did you really think I’m going to be with my uncle when you leave?” He began shaking his head with a grin “That would never happen.” 

You roll your eyes at him and raise an eyebrow “I thought you’d be with Master Luke, yes. He doesn’t even know, does he? You only found out about my trip last night.” You laugh softly attempting to scold him. “I did, and no he doesn’t know. Though he obviously spoke with my mother last night about the trip, so he can’t expect much less. I never am on time when you leave, he should know that better than anyone.” You roll your eyes again, giving him a soft kiss before getting up and getting off his bed. “You shouldn’t make a habit of that.” You make your way to the kitchenette to clean the glass you dropped last night. 

“I shouldn’t make a habit of a lot of things, yet here we are.” You could tell by his voice that he had gotten up and began to follow you, it also helped that you could usually feel when he’s getting closer to you. “You’re hilarious Ben.” You open a drawer that had cloths in it, so you could clean the mess, but Ben closed it from across the room. You looked up at him like he was crazy, until you saw his smile.

He took a step closer to you and kissed your cheek “I said that I’d clean that in the morning. I made you drop it, remember?” You pretended that you were annoyed for another moment, but you were quite clearly just as amuse as he was. “You could have cut my hand off.” You fake anger, giving him a stern look. “I knew you were going to move your hand. So no, I couldn’t have cut off your hand.” He pushes you out of the kitchenette, and to his room once again.

“Don’t you have to meet my mother soon, anyway?” His mood changed quickly as he points to the clock, telling you you only have fifteen minutes to get to General Organa’s office. “Yes, I do.” You didn’t really mind meeting his mother before leaving, but you did mind that she always asked about Ben. It was the only reason she asked to see you before ever mission you had. You didn’t want to be a messenger bird between her and her son, especially knowing that Ben doesn’t really want people to know much about him. “You look disappointed?” He questioned, trying to get into your head at and understand the look on your face. 

“Out of my head, Solo.” You poke his chest, and smirk up at him. “I am, yes. I don’t exactly enjoy telling your mother that I wont tell her every detail I know about you.” He nodded, knowing exactly why his mother always called you to her office. You didn’t see the point in hiding it from him, no one else ever had half hour meetings with her before they left, it didn’t take Ben long to realize his mother was asking you about him. “What else could she possibly ask you? She’s already asked you every question possible, what else is there?” He was always so defensive about his mothers questions to you, he knew you weren’t lying about what both you and his mother say, but his anxiety makes him think otherwise.

“I’m not sure, Ben. She might be asking about the First Order, it’s no secret I know more than she does about what went on between you and them.” He looked down in shame at your words, and nodded once. “Ben, no. I didn’t mean that like you had done anything wrong.” You place your hands on his shoulders and look up so you’re looking right into his eyes. “I meant that she knows that I know more about it than her. So that might be what she’s asking about.” You cup his face in your your hands and make him look you in the eye “I won’t say anything, you know I would never do that.”

He nodded and half smiled. “What if she can see your thoughts, though? And she just hasn’t told anyone, she is force sensitive, she has the ability to learn.” You shook your head, smile slightly “Ben I would know if she was looking at my thoughts, I can tell when anyone is looking at them. She doesn’t know anything, I promise.” You move your arms to wrap around his waist and kiss his chest. “I have to go, but if you meet me at my apartment when I’m done I’l tell you what she asked.” He still wasn’t speaking or making eye contact, so you sigh and kiss him lightly before walking to the door “I love you.” You whisper hoping he might respond to that. He looked up and you and forced a smile “Love you too.” 

You walked to General Organa’s office, and saw she was already waiting in her office for you. “(Y/N)!” She got up and hugged you, giving you a kind smile. She had always been nothing but kind to you, but that doesn’t change the fact that Ben doesn’t want her to know his thoughts, and feelings the way you do. So she won’t. “General Organa.” You bowed your head once as a sign on respect, and sit in the chair across from her.

She looked you over for a few moments, before deciding to finally speak. “How are you and Ben doing, sweetie?” You hold back a laugh, this was almost always her first question. It was her way of trying to transition the conversation from a hello to Ben, and how he’s doing. “We’re good, thank you.” You smile nervously, looking away from her. “How is Ben handling your trip for today?” Your quickly looked up at her, wanting nothing more than to tell her off for knowing how much this trip bothers her son, but being so casual about it. If you were to do that you not only could that put you on bad terms with the General, but your boyfriends mother. Neither of those sound fun. 

You take in a slow breath, calming yourself before you spoke. “He’s frustrated. Angry. And nervous, but I’m sure you knew all of that.” You did your best to hide the frustration you were feeling. Either it worked, or she wanted to keep asking questions. “Do you think he’ll be able to focus with Luke today?” She leaned in, like you were gossiping like little teenage girls. “Honestly General?” You don’t bother to hide your annoyance anymore. She seems to only care about Ben’s training, forgetting that he’s human and isn’t meant to train every minute of the day. You glance at her curiously though, wondering if she’ll catch onto your sudden mood change. Normally you would say what you knew would make her happy, but with the amount of anxiety Ben has over this trip, and her only worry being if he will focus during training, you didn’t care to appease her. She nodded her head hesitantly “Of course I do.”

“No, I don’t think he’ll be able to focus with Master Luke. He is physically drained as it is how how hard Master Luke makes him work. On top of that, he is in a panic that something will happen to me while I’m on this trip.” You sigh, and throw your head back in frustration. “He’s already told me he’s missing at least the first hour of training so he can say goodbye to me.” You bite the inside of your cheek to stop you from continuing on.

She shook her head, and looked down to her hands. “(Y/N), he can’t miss training. Luke is already growing worried about him.” She sounded almost disappointed about what you’d just told her. Of all things you thought she would say, that wasn’t one of them. You quickly stand up, and look right at her incredulously. “Is that really what you’re worried about Leia?” Your voice was louder than you had intended, but you didn’t care about that. “He-“ You pause, trying to find words that wouldn’t be so harsh. “I know that he can’t miss training. But you don’t seem to understand that it wouldn’t be good for him to train with Master Luke today. He is drained Leia! Physically, emotionally, and mentally. You don’t seem to understand that!” You looked down at her, and wanted to scream at her until she understood what you were saying. 

“So tell me! I want to be able to understand.” She pleaded, not sounding angry in the slightest that you had just yelled at her. “It’s not my place to tell you anything. You know exactly what Ben wants you to know. If he wanted you to know more, he would either tell you or ask me to.” You glare at her, not seeing how she can’t seem to get that Ben doesn’t want her to know everything about him. 

She stayed silent long enough for you to grow impatient of waiting. “You’re right, (Y/N) I’m sorry.” She looked down at her hands, choosing not to look at you. “I’m sorry for keeping you, go- you have to get your things before you leave.” Her halfhearted smile made you feel bad for yelling at her. But her lack of communication with her son was partially her own fault. Ben has never liked training as hard as he does, and she forced him to for the first 20 years of his life, now it’s what he thinks he has to do. Being forced to train like that put the strain on their relationship, Ben didn’t want to fight with his mother, so he decided to just talk as little as possible. You didn’t say anything else, you just left the room, just wanting to see Ben. 

You got to your building, still having an hour before you were set to leave. As you walked up the stairs to your apartment you could sense Ben was already there, nervous like never before. You had to stop for a minute before opening your door to take a breath. His nerves were so strong that you were beginning to feel the physical effect it was having on him. You could always feel his emotions especially when they’re strong ones, but you don’t normally feel the physical effect of his emotions. 

Once you were calm enough, you opened the door, and saw Ben pacing back and forth by your bed. Either he hadn’t noticed or felt you walk in, or he was too caught up in his thoughts to think to say anything. “Ben..” You walked closer to him, stopping his pacing by placing your hands on his chest lightly. He pulled you into a hug, an attempt to calm himself as best as he could. Once you wrapped your arms around him he finally spoke “I’m sorry,” He whispered, “I just wanted to hol-“ You pulled your head back, just enough to be able to look up at him “Don’t apologize for anything Ben, especially needing comfort.” You rest your head on his chest again, and run your finger up and down his back. Thank you. His voice whispered in your mind You’re welcome.

“You’re back earlier than usual.” He pointed out, still holding you close to him. “I got frustrated.” You admit, trying not to think about how you yelled at her “What did she do?” He pulled away, and looked you over nervously. You didn’t say anything but began moving around your room, grabbing the few things you would ned for a one-day mission. 

“Well, she asked if I thought would be able to focus on your training today.” He nodded, waiting for more. “I told her that you are drained, that you’ve been working so hard, your entire life, but especially now with Master Luke pushing you. Then I told her that you were going to miss the first hour at least to say goodbye” You tail off, not sure if that was something you shouldn’t have said to her. He only nodded again, while you sigh thinking of her insensitive reaction “She told me that you couldn’t miss training. And I got mad that she wasn’t understanding what I had said.” You sigh and turn your back to him.

“She was mad that I would miss an hour of training to say goodbye to you. When she’s the one sending you off.” You turned your head slightly, seeing that he looked utterly confused. You walked closer to him and looked his face over, unsure of how he’s feeling, you couldn't quite tell. “What else did she say?” He asked suddenly, looking right up to see you standing in front of him again. “She wanted me to help her understand you. I think she just wants to be closer to you Ben.”

He was thinking about something, something that was clearly bugging him “Did you tell her about the dream?” He asked suddenly, ignoring your previous statement. You shook your head quickly “Of course not, I would never disclose to her or anyone your dreams, or thoughts.” You smile, wanting him to know you would never tell anyone anything he didn’t want them to know. 

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds, so you turned and grabbed small bag of things you were to take on your tip. “Thank you.” He whispers before stepping behind you and kissing the top of your head. “I’m sorry I thought you would something like that” You nodded at his words, and turned so you were facing him. “I understand, I would be thinking the same thing.” 

You looked to the time and saw you only had half an hour until you were supposed to be on your ship with the pilot. “Now I have to get to my ship, are you coming with me or a-“ You stopped once you saw his ‘what-do-you-think’ face. You laughed softly “Right then. Let’s go.” You put your jacket on, and grab the bag of your things. Ben reached beside you, and grabbed the bag from your hand “I’ll take that.” You smile and thank him while you both leave the apartment.

You didn’t speak much about anything important on the way there, you did your best to keep his mind on other things, things that he enjoys. “I know what you’re doing (Y/N).” He looks down at you with a smirk, then back to where he’s walking. “You always know what I’m doing. I shouldn’t even bother trying to do things like that anymore.” You shake your head laughing, while attempting to not look up at the ships in front of you. “We’re almost there, aren’t we?” You ask, pressing your lips tightly together. 

“Yeah.” He mumbled, offering you his hand to hold while you walked. “Thank you.” You fake a laugh, still not wanting to look up in the fear that you might cry in front of Ben. “Stop worrying about me.” He tells you, watching you while blinking a few times. You look up at him, and his soft expression. “Not today Solo, not today.” You give him a more honest laugh. You look up finally seeing that your ship is being looked over before you leave, and Leia is waiting for you watching them inspect. 

Ben groaned at the sight of his mother, but still continued with you. Once you got closer to your ship, Leia turned and smiled at Ben. She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. You dropped his hand so he could hug her, but he only wrapped his arm around her loosely before dropping it seconds later. She hid her hurt well as she turned to you, and gave you a hug. You hugged her back, watching Ben avoid the direction of you and his mother. “Are you ready?” She asks you, her face dropping as she notices that you had just been crying. 

“I’m so sorry. Both of you-“ You both looked to Ben who was now looking at her “I am sorry that she’s going Ben.” He nodded, not really wanting to speak to his mother. “Okay.” Leia smiled happily, clearly thinking that Ben was no longer frustrated with her

“Can you load this please?” Ben handed your bag to Kenparr, the pilot of the ship you’re going in. Kenparr nodded taking the bag, and walking away from you to place the bag on your seat. “Ben..” You whisper, noticing his jaw set, and his eyes look anywhere but you. He hummed in response, still looking away. “Ben.” You begged, stepping closer to him, thinking that he is mad at you for leaving. 

He heard your thought of him being mad with you, and turned to look at you with tear filled eyes. “I’m not mad at you, I promise.” His placed his hands over your cheeks, and halfheartedly smiled at you “I just don- just please be safe? Tell me if anything even seems a little off, anything.” You already knew that if it was at all possible, you wouldn’t let him know. But it wouldn’t be of any use, he would know just as soon as you did if something was off, or if something happened. 

“I wont do that, but you’ll know anyway. You always know when something is wrong.” You joke, biting your lip as you thought about what they would actually do if they were there. “Exactly, so why not tell me yourself, and tell me anything I would need to know?” He looked hopeful that this would convince you, that just wasn't the case though. “I love you.” You wrap your arms around him, burying your face in his shoulder “I love you too.” He whispered in your ear, kissing your temple. 

“Please just be safe (Y/N), please.” You nod, just as you were about to reply, you felt someone watching from right behind you. You turn to see who it is, and see Leia looking at you with guilty eyes “I still have another fifteen minutes.” You tell her in a panic, not ready to leave Ben, quite possibly for a lot longer than your one day mission. “You’re already here, Kenparr thinks you should leave now.” She says hesitantly, looking away form you and up at Ben for a moment. “She’s not leaving yet, she still has fifteen minutes!” Ben stepped in front of you, in a protective way like his mother was some sort of physical threat to you.

“Ben, she has to leave. She’ll be back in just one day, not even depending on how quickly things go.” You couldn’t see Leia, only hear her voice, seeing as Ben was blocking your view of her. You could tell that she was doing her best to comfort him, in her own way. “Not yet! She can’t leave yet.” He demanded, reaching an arm behind him to touch you, needing a way to know you were still there. “Ben, it’s okay. I’ll be okay, alright? The sooner I leave the sooner I’ll be home. I’ll probably be home just after you go to sleep tonight!” You hoped that was the case, and right now you were trying to convince yourself of the same scenario. You weren’t even gone yet, and already all you wanted to to be in bed with Ben, and for the day to be over. 

He turned slowly to look at you, seeing that you were serious about leaving early. You could feel the panic running through him now, his thoughts were moving so fast you weren’t even able to make sense of them. “Do whatever they ask, don’t give them a reason to hurt you. They’ll just be looking for a reason, so don’t do anything that could get you in trouble. I’ll find you, I promise.” He had tears free falling by the time he was done speaking, his anxieties were letting his guard down. “Ben nothing is going to happen.” You fake confidence, hoping that might instill some confidence in him as well. 

He closed his eyes for a short second and kissed you, much deeper than he had in front of other people before. “I hope not, but be safe.” He demanded weakly. “I promise.” You both knew what was going to happen on this trip, but there was nothing either of you could do to stop it at this point. He wiped away your tears, and kissed you once more. “Good. I love you.” He smiles as best as he can at you. You attempted to hold your composure together, and smile back “I love you too, Ben.”

Kenparr led helped you get into the ship, and quickly got in on the pilots side “You’re going to be fine (Y/N). It’s only Jakku.” You looked straight ahead out the window, not letting yourself look at Ben, it would only cause more pain for you both. “Why are you two so nervous anyway? If you don’t mind me asking of course.” Kenparr asked once you were leaving the atmosphere. You turned in your seat, to look at the back of his head “Do you know what I’m doing on Jakku?” He was quiet for a second and finally shook his head “No, I just know where to bring you.” You scoffed, and turned back in your seat “We’re going to get information on the First Order Kenparr.” Your voice came out harsher than you had meant, it wasn’t his fault he didn’t know what your mission on Jakku was.

“Why is that bad? Don’t we need information on them if we’re going to stop them?” He turned in his seat slightly, hoping you would start making some sort of sense soon. “You’ve heard of the boy they have been after for years, right?” Your arms were crossed. All you could focus on was Leia lying to Kenparr, who now has no idea what this trip could entail for both of you. “Of course, they want him as an apprentice.” Once you were off D’qar, and surrounded by the stars you started to worry more. 

“Ben is the boy they’ve been after. He’s told their leader time and time again that he refuses. But Snoke doesn’t take no for an answer apparently.” You mumble the last bit to yourself more than Kenparr. “Ben and I have a force bond, that you already knew, but the reason we’re nervous is because I was requested to meet the Kyuzo. There is a great chance that the First Order might have convinced the Kyuzo to set me up. They could already be there, wanting to take me as a way to get Ben on their base. Stupid boy would actually leave without a second thought.” You do your best to blink away the rapid forming tears, not wanting to look like a mess once you land on Jakku. You’d look weak.

“Isn’t that a good thing though? I mean, it’s sweet he would go after you.” Kenparr tried comforting you, though you could tell he was nervous about landing on Jakku now too. “Maybe if it wasn’t something that would make my boyfriend join them.” He stayed quiet for a minute, thinking about what you’d just said “Well he wouldn’t join them, not if he wasn’t already tempted to join them. So he’s safe, Ben would never do that.” He sounded so confident in his words, only causing you to cringe thinking about Ben actually considering it years ago. “Yeah, he wouldn’t.” You mumble. 

You started to think about the day you’d returned to D’qar. Ben was there and was so surprised to see you, but also relieved. You hadn’t known at the time of course, but he had just returned from meeting Snoke. You had finally moved back to D’qar, and now there was no reason for Ben to even consider leaving, he had you and that’s all the convincing he needed to make him know where he belongs. He had told you a few years after you began dating that you are the reason that he had stayed, you were shocked at first, but also proud of Ben for realizing where he belonged.

A few hours later, Kenparr was ready to land on Jakku. “Ready to prove yourself wrong, kid?” Taking in a shaky breath you mumbled a quick yeah. As you got closer to the land you began trying to calm yourself down, hoping that it would somehow make the difference if the First Order was there or not. Once Kenparr had landed the ship, you checked the holo pad one last time to know exactly where you were going. 

“Okay Kenparr, General Organa said in the notes that you should get fuel, and check the ship to guarantee a safe trip home. I should be back in no more than an hour.” You paused for a second wondering if you should ask him to call for help if you’re not back by then. “If I’m not back an hour after I’m set to be back here, call for help. Keep a weapon on you at all times, especially because you have a Resistance jacket on, as do I. If the First Order is here, they’ll spot both of us quickly.” Kenparr opened the ships hatch and let you out. “Alright, I’ll make sure to do that, but you’re going to be fine (Y/N).” He smiled at you, and gave you a quick nod. 

“Thank you.” You try to sound strong, but your nerves were making you feel otherwise. You weren’t too far from the area you were meant to meet the Kyuzo in, maybe a fifteen minute walk. On your way to the town, you couldn’t help but keep looking up to the sky for any signs of the First Order. But there was nothing. I think I might be safe. You think to yourself, knowing that Ben would hear it as well. Good. His voice entered your mind for a short second, and helped you control your nerves for the rest of the walk. 

You arrived in the town, and began looking around carefully before making your way to the Kyuzo. He was watching over, what you could only assume to be, his workers. No one else was around, and he didn’t look like suspicious. Finally feeling confident enough to walk up to the creature, you made your way to his shop. 

He looked up, noticing you immediately and watching you for a moment before taking a few steps closer to you. He walked to you slowly looking behind you curiously. You turned around quickly and saw that no one was there. “Just seeing that you are alone young one.” He speaks in his native language. “I’ve been sent by General Organa on behalf of the Resistance. We have your money, but I will need the information first.” You tell him, still looking around cautiously, not sure if the First Order would come from no where at any second. “Very well. Follow me child.” You roll your eyes at his names for you, but follow him regardless, keeping your hand close to the gun on your hip.

He entered his tent, and looked to you to make sure you’re following. “In here.” He grumbled, walking ahead further. Everything is fine Ben, they’re not here. You thought, making sure he knows that you’re safe, you didn’t hear anything back though. You entered the tent, and once you were fully inside you felt someones hand cover your mouth. Your eyes went wide, as you reached to grab your gun. But it was gone. “We’ve got the girl General.” You hear a robotic voice say from right behind you. You attempted to kick whoever was holding you, but it did no good, and only got you kicked in the back of your knees, knocking you down. 

You gasped at the pain, and the impact of landing directly on your knees after. You were yanked back to your feet, needing support to stand properly. The hand had been removed from your mouth, but two men in white suits were holding onto your arms, and another had a gun— your gun pointed at you. “How did you-“ 

“Shut the girl up.” A new, human voice said from behind you, the man in white on your right put his hand over your mouth again, shoving you back into his hard suit. You tried to look at where the new voice had been coming from, but you couldn’t turn your head enough to even see the man on your left. Your heart was racing, and you were starting to realize that it was happening, they are there trying to take you. You’re hurt! You hear Ben’s voice echo in your head. At the realization that Ben had felt your pain, and now knew you’d been hurt you started to panic, trying to get free off the hold the men had on you.

Your vision blurred with tears, and you wanted so desperately to be able to stop Ben from following after you. Please Ben don’t come. Please. You begged repeatedly in your head. You blinked a few times, seeing that there was someone standing in front of you now. Your breath caught in your throat as your vision cleared and you saw who it was, you thought you were going to die on the spot. It’s the man from Ben’s dream last night, General Hux.

He was giving you almost the same exact look right now that he was in the dream, pure disgust. “So you’re the reason he wont come to us? You, a pathetic woman who can’t even control her emotions.” He scoffed, taking a step closer to you, getting right in your face. “Well he’ll be joining us soon I’m sure.” He gave you a smug grin, and took a step back. “Let the girl speak, I’m sure she has a lot to say.” He looked to the man covering your mouth, and then back to you once the hand was removed. 

“You can’t have him you fucker!” You scream, trying to escape the grip of the men, wanting to kill this General on the spot. “Oh dear. What a shame, we can’t? Well I suppose we’ll find out when he comes looking for his precious-” He looked you up and down “woman.” He rolls his eyes in distaste. “He won’t! He won’t come looking for me. He doesn’t even know you have me!” You lie, fighting against the hold again trying to get to General Hux.

“Oh really, so you mean he hasn’t already realized. What about that bond that the two of you share? Can he not tell when you’re in pain?” His smug face threw you off, Does he think I’m in pain? You laugh and shake your head at him “I’m not in pain you asshole.” Just as you finished the last word, you felt a sharp pain shoot through your jaw. You yelped in pain, and did your best to not cry. “Are you in pain now darling?” His voice mocked smoothly. The left side of your face now felt like it was on fire, and every time you tried to move your jaw, a sharp pain ran through it again. 

What the fuck did he just do?! You heard Ben’s voice, very loudly, in your head. You didn’t want to respond, knowing that would only make him angrier. The General looks you over for a moment and give you a satisfied smile. “Oh he did feel that, good.” General Hux smirked raising his hand to strike you again. Instinctively you flinched away, and closed your eyes waiting for another sharp pain. But there was nothing, as you opened your eyes you saw him laughing, quite amused with your reaction. “Afraid of a little slap? Oh darling, you’re going to have a lot of fun with us.” Your eyes widened, thinking about the image of the interrogation table, and how you wouldn’t be able to flinch away from anything on it. Ben was right, he does have his own ways of retrieving information.

“Let our little friend know that when he shows up, we’ll consider a lesser punishment for you.” He walked out of the tent, and motioned for the two men holing you to bring you along. “Punishment?” You whisper, whimpering quietly at the pain in your jaw again. “Oh yes, see you are the reason he didn’t join us, and you’re the reason he has refused to join us every time we offer him the galaxy. So now, you will be punished for keeping him from us.” Listening to his words, you realized that this was actually justified in his head, like you had physically forced Ben not to go. 

You heard Ben’s voice raising in your head, demanding to know what he had done to you. Punishment. You lock your eyes on the back of the mans head, nervous that he would turn and strike you again. For what? You haven’t done anything! You’d never heard his voice so loud before, but you knew that it wasn’t a good thing.

General Hux walked onto a ship much larger than the ones typically used by the Resistance. You decided to try one more time to get out of the grip they had on you, but as soon as you did you felt a hard object hit the back of your head making you screamed in pain. You were trying your hardest to keep your eyes open, keeping your mind on Ben’s voice asking what had happened just then. But you knew you had been hit too hard, you couldn’t even think straight enough to tell Ben you’d been hit. There was no chance of you staying awake, so you gave in.


End file.
